I see everything you did and how you felt when you had to kill a human being." It hurt for weeks after but I found a way of justifying it in my mind. Something similar was in your mind when you rescued Kim and I that day." With me it wasn't much different. You were rescuing pack. They were close to you, basically family. I was helping two beautiful girls that were crying out for help. I was in danger of losing two people that I knew would be closer to me than any one had ever been before."I could joke about this but he was telling the exact truth. Pack was like that because they couldn't escape into delusions like most people. If you shaded something to make it more comfortable you were shown just how you manipulated things for your own ends. I felt humbled to be a part of this love and did my part to nurture what we had.I said, "Killing became easier when I could see how twisted and deformed some people were. Threatening the pack made it easier still. It makes me feel sick after. One of the pastor's points has remained with me ever since. It had to do with ejaculation of semen. Our pastor was very insistent on driving home the point that if we masturbated, and did so fairly frequently, that we would run out of sperm; and not be able to create a family someday when we were married!Such an idea had never occurred to any of us before; and I know I wasn't the only one who, upon hearing this alleged 'fact', felt a distinct sinking feeling in the pit of our stomachs---because each of knew that we'd already disposed of a considerable amount of sperm as we secretly masturbated in our bedrooms late at night! Of course, none of us let on like we were worried over the pastors pronouncement---but we were.But that was a very long time ago; and I can assure you, that I have never stopped masturbating for hardly a day in my life; and, I'm happy to say, that my pastor was a total fraud; because I have NEVER, ever, 'run out of sperm!' Indeed, in college biology I discovered.
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